UPDATE ON LINDA...

Linda Robinson, my online bosom buddy went to be with the Lord on December 15th at 9:50 AM.  She is going to celebrate Christmas face to face with Jesus...WOW!  I will always remember her and the time that she died as it was my birthday :)  Life is something to be celebrated but I am sure that Linda is celebrating right now...no more pain and she is at peace :)  I have known her about a year through only email...I am in this group of 6 women from all over the US that have had breast cancer and we bare our souls to each other...the silly things we worry about, our celebrations that only a person would understand that has walked down that road before. We ask each other questions that no one else would have the answer for.  They have helped me so much...What a blessing God has given me in them :)  She had a recurrence of her cancer in August and it was untreatable.  She was so strong and such an inspiration!  I so wish we would have gotten to meet face to face but I know we will someday :) 

Continue to pray for an end to cancer!

UPDATE ON LINDA AND JACKIE...

Linda was finally able to go home from hospice because she was medically stable and her husband, Clark, was able to take care of her--what an answer to prayer!  She is more alert but unable to talk very well except in one-two word phrases on a good day.  She is able to communicate via of a picture board which is very helpful to Clark to know what she wants.  He is so patient and reading their carepage is like reading a love story--it is so touching to see how his love for her is so evident by his actions and words.  I know it gives her strength to fight this terrible disease.  She had an experience with angels that he talks about in her carepage.  She has been so close to death and is able to tell him what she has seen...So many prayers have been answered and there is a reason she is still with us! 


http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/lindarobertson

Jackie is home now and receiving chemo twice a week.  She is getting stronger everyday but her kidneys aren't doing the greatest.  She is trying to get swelling to go down in legs and hands as well as stay up and build up her strength.  Her sons are taking care of things and doing quite well.  They have grown up and become so responsible through her whole ordeal.  She told me she is going to celebrate the gift of life with a very simple Thanksgiving this year with her sons.  She is such an inspiration to me! 

Please continue to keep them in your prayers and pray for an end to cancer! 

Celebrate the gift of life in a simple way this year!  Don't do quite as much as you normally do and take time to enjoy your life and those around you--It is not easy with the holiday rush and never-ending lists of things to do but take time to focus on what is important--not urgent-- There is a difference.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all--

A YEAR AGO TODAY...11/6/2009

A year ago today I was diagnosed with breast cancer--what a year it has been.  So much to be thankful for and yet this "bump in the road" has not come with some adjustments that are continuing to be made....  I have been reflecting alot this week.  I could not do that without being so grateful to the Breast Center at SEMC--especially Terri Bogan, my nurse navigator, and her sweet comforting spirit as well as  Dr. Guenther ( I just love that man!)  and Dr. Williams (my perfectionist plastic surgeon)...My gratitude and love is never-ending towards Wayne, my husband, and his support and willingness to do what has been very difficult at times.  His understanding and patience with me on this journey still continues and I am so glad.  I know without a doubt I have married the right person :)  So thankful for my mom and dad's support and help with the kids as well as my friends--all the meals, prayers and extra help to cover for me at work...it made it so much easier for me and my family this past year.  Wayne continues to make my coffee every morning because he realized how much I loved that during my recovery from surgery. ( He thinks I was a princess in a former life...ha!)  As I have said before, there are some good things that can come out of the bad....LOL

As I look back on my journal entry from last year on November 6th I see how God has brought me through this...I don't normally share my journal with people because there are some things in there that might get me committed to the nearest psych unit but not these...I think about how good God is when I read these---

11/6/2009--( The day I was diagnosed with breast cancer--before and after)
God,
YOU never take your eye off of me--or the clock ticking over me---YOU love me and YOU are hard at work in my life--What are you trying to teach me with this little detour?  Satan seeks to destroy, steal our lives and everything of value to us--Jesus' purpose is to give life in all of it fullness--Satan can't win in this situation and I can't lose--no matter what the results are--I belong to God--Help me live it and believe it! EVERY DECISION IS FROM THE LORD--He is more that able to deliver me...no matter what happens!
What are YOU trying to teach me God?  I am trying to be open...to the leading of the Holy Spirit in my life...this detour has made me think...it is constantly on my mind--what would I get rid of in my life if I got diagnosed with cancer...something to think about, isn't it?  I have so many mixed emotions about it!  I can't even write about them for fear I would be feeding the emotions that aren't healthy --No matter what happens today--I will be OK--Wayne and I will be OK--He has been so supportive--He loves me and I know and feel that it will never go away--what a blessing that is to me :) I have been in situations where it is the opposite and I don't ever what to be in that again--Thank you Lord for giving Him to me--
God, I am praying for good news--I need to be here for my kids---In Your Name, Jennifer

God,
Not the news I really wanted to hear but there are good news--99.9% curable--STAGE 0 CANCER--NON-INVASIVE (so far)---we are focusing on that!  What an exhausting weekend it has been--mentally exhausting--I think I could sleep all day--Telling other people close to me and putting this on their plate is just not fair!
The lessons I need to learn are there--Help me to be open to them--Give me the stamina to do what I need to do to take care of myself--physically, mentally and emotionally--I want to look back on this as a positive in my life and my families' life--only YOU can do that--Keep me positive, focused and whatever I can do to fight this, I want to do it---
I need to get rid of stuff in my life that just doesn't matter--give me guidance in those decisions I need to make-I need to live in the present more and take advantages of opportunities around me to connect to people--my family, friends and those that have been walked this journey before me.  I know that will be positive and helpful...In Your Name, Jennifer
___________________________________
This morning Wayne surprised me and brought me my coffee and my favorite breakfast, a protein bar, while I was still in bed. He wished me a happy cancer-free anniversary...He remembers too how our life was turned upside down a year ago today----He told me he has made reservations at one of my favorite restaurants, Behle St Cafe, for tonight (what a sweet man he is!).  We are going to celebrate where we are today--being cancer-free and being more aware of what is most important to us and trying to live life like that everyday...even though somedays it is not easy--God is so good!

FOLLOW-UP with DR. WILLIAMS....

This week I had a three month follow-up visit with Dr. Williams, my plastic surgeon.  He comes in and says, "Let me take a peek!"  Seriously, I think he could choose better wording.  He then says, " I do believe this is as good as it is going to get..."  (I am not sure how to take that!)  He announces to Polly, the nurse, that it is time for pictures...another thing that is so much fun! I call them my "porn" pictures---didn't know we were going to do that today.  The good thing is that it doesn't matter if I smile or not...they are only taken from the neck down.  I seriously believe that they should give medication prior to that....you have to laugh or you would run out of there and never come back!  He says that my scars are in Stage 2 of healing...they will blend in with my skin in the next year...I go back in six months unless I decide to go back and have the final touches.  That would require more outpatient surgery so for right now, I am good :)  He said I am a patient for life...after this next visit, I will come back every two years for a follow-up exam...

Continue to pray for an end to cancer and for my friend, Linda---she is still fighting for her life but now she is unable to speak at all and she wants to...how frustrating!  She is in hospice with family and friends around her...her husband would like prayers from all over going up for Linda and their family...

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/lindarobertson

My friend and neighbor, Jackie, is in the hospital dealing with symptoms of renal failure.  Her multiple myeloma has morphed into another type of cancer that is growing rapidly and her system is unable to handle it.  She has been fighting this cancer since 2002 and I have seen her go  through three stem cell transplants, chemotherapy multiple times , radiation and broken bones from her bones being so weak with this blood cancer.  She is receiving chemotherapy, getting fluids to get her kidneys to work better and her heart is being monitored as she is at risk for heart attack with all the fluid that is building up in her body.  She has been such a fighter :) My last visit with her she was so bummed...and so tired...Pray that God gives her physical and emotional strength that can only come from Him--Pray the chemotherapy will help control the cancer so her kidneys will function better...and she can come home. 

Thank you for your prayers! 

PRAY FOR PEACE AND COMFORT

My friend, Linda, is fighting for her life in hospice and has been since last Thursday...her family and friends surround her.  She is mostly unresponsive but occasionally will respond with squeezing someone's hand, mouthing words and pointing to things in the room.  Her medical needs have become more than what her family can handle at home.  Please pray for peace and comfort for Linda and her family.  I think about her all the time and my heart goes out to them.  If we could wrap our head around what heaven was really like...how would our attitudes change about our loved ones going there?....no suffering, no pain, no sadness, no crying and no cancer...if we could only imagine...

 I CAN ONLY IMAGINE by MERCYME

CONTINUE TO PRAY FOR LINDA...

My "Bosom Buddy", Linda, had brain surgery yesterday because of a faulty valve in her shunt.  As a result, she has been unresponsive for the past two days.  She is working towards going to Houston to seek alternative treatment for her cancer.  Please pray for her to get back to her positive self soon! 

Continue to pray for an end to cancer!

UPDATE ON LINDA...MY BOSOM BUDDY

For those of you that have been praying for Linda...she is at home and getting her strength back more and more everyday.  That alone is an answer to prayer....Her records have been reviewed at Duke and they have said there is nothing else that they would do differently than what her other doctors have done.  So basically conventional medicine has said there is nothing else that can be done since what they have tried isn't working...Now, Clark...her incredibly sweet husband...is pursuing alternative treatment and another clinic is reviewing her information.  Please pray for God to give him wisdom and guidance as he pursues this avenue of treatment and also pray for Linda's body to respond favorably to what they choose to do...there are fundraisers being done as health insurance does not pay for this kind of treatment.  Continue to pray for their whole family as they care for her and also for healing for Linda...God is the ultimate healer!

A SPECIAL THANK YOU TO KAY FOR THE GIFT OF HERSELF :)

     I wrote the following letter several months ago after my second surgery to my tissue donor from my first surgery.  I didn't know their name...only a number....but the Musculoskeletal Transplant Foundation will send the letter to your donor if you send the letter to them.   Today I received a response to my letter--I wanted to share both letters with you.

MY LETTER WRITTEN SEVERAL MONTHS AGO
     I would like to drop you a note to express my sympathy in the death of your family member and to thank you for your gift of donated tissue. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in November of 2009. It was caught in the very early stages but I had to make some difficult choices. I chose to have a bilateral masectomy with breast reconstruction on February 22, 2010. Your donated tissue was used in the form of ALLOGRAFT inside of me to create a pocket for the tissue expanders. The tissue expanders were removed on May 24, 2010 and the final reconstruction was done. It has all been very successful and the doctor says I have done better than 98% of his patients going through this process. I want to say thank you for helping to make that possible with your gift.
     I work as a physical therapist and I am a mom to 4 kids….2 of my own and 2 older step-children. I am a grandma to two little girls…they are such sweeties! They don’t live closeby but we try to visit every 3-4 months. We are very involved with our church family and so many prayers surrounded me as I went in surgery…you are a part of that answer to prayer…I will never ever forget all the support I received from family and friends. Cancer is a terrible disease and it makes my heart heavy to hear of another person diagnosed with it…
     I would love to know about the person/family that helped me continue with my life—My family and I are so thankful for them!
With gratitude and a thankful heart,

Jennifer
Burlington, Kentucky

MY LETTER THAT I RECEIVED TODAY
Jennifer and family,
     Thank you for your letter of appreciation for the donated tissue from my wife.  It is reassuring to know that her early death was not a total loss.  Kay was a very active person both physically and socially.  As a social worker and counselor she touched many lives.  She had a way of putting people at ease such that they would reveal some of their most private concerns with her.  A real gift!
     We both liked to do outdoor activities.  We were able to go to the Boundary Waters Canoe Area for 23 consecutive years.  The wilderness experience was spiritually uplifting.  We also went backpacking in the wilderness areas of Wyoming.  Backpacking at 10,000 feet in the mountains will give you an idea of the physical condition Kay was in. 
     We lived what some people called a voluntary simplistic life.  We built our own home from cutting the trees, sawing the lumber and pounding the nails.  The house is small, about 1000 sq feet.  That is because we believe in leaving a small footprint on this land, both from the materials and energy consumed.  We also have a large garden which produces enough vegetables for use and enough to give away to our friends. 
     Giving was a big part of what defined Kay.  She wanted other people to succeed, so would do what she could to help the cause.  Her last project was to help the new county agent set up a community garden. 

Wishing you a full and peaceful recovery from a challenging event in your life.

Mike

UPDATE ON LINDA...

Thank you for praying...Linda is now home...she has received a g-tube and the shunt that was necessary to drain the fluid off of her brain. Her records are being reviewed at Duke to see if any other treatment would be beneficial.  Please continue to pray for her healing and the "baby-steps" they are taking at home to get her back on her feet.  God is the ultimate Healer!      Please visit her page and sign her guestbook letting her know you are praying for her--it is more encouraging than you know.   Please continue to pray for an end to cancer!
www.caringbridge.org/visit/lindarobertson

PRAY FOR MY FRIEND LINDA

Please pray for my friend, Linda, that I mentioned in the previous post.  Her breast cancer has spread to her brain and it is not responding to chemo at this time.  She has fluid on her brain that has cancer cells in it and  that is not a good sign.  Many prayers have been sent up for her and they are working!  She is more alert and able to enjoy conversations with her family and friends.  Over the weekend, she was non-responsive for about 2-3 days.  Pray that the cancer stops growing and for guidance in the decisions that her and her family have to make!  God is stronger than chemo and He sees the BIG picture where we are caught up in the here and now--She was strong enough to have the surgery that she needed yesterday to put a shunt in to relieve the fluid....she will be getting a g-tube at some point in the next day or two because she has not been taking in enough calories in the last week to increase her strength.
Pray for an end to cancer---

IS THE SUMMER REALLY OVER?

Hey all...I went to the plastic surgeon yesterday for a follow-up from my surgery on May 24.  All is good...he gave me a A+.  I always have to laugh when he gives me a grade because I am not asking for one.  I think he is really grading himself and does it to make himself feel good.  There are decisions to make regarding tattoos vs. more reconstruction and there is no rush to make these decisions.  I like decisions like that!  My next appt is in November unless I decide to move forward with making decisions.  I think I am going to procrastinate just a bit...I have too much going on right now with the start of my kids' senior year and going back to work.  Did I say seniors?  Just can't believe it! 

School starts next week...all the vacations are over...life is going to get back in a routine.  No more sleeping until 1:00 for my kids...no more leisure mornings for me...I never wake a sleeping teenager!  That is one of my rules for a peaceful life.  LOL 

Please pray for one of my online "bosom buddies" Linda---she had to have emergency brain surgery after finding a brain tumor yesterday. She was having symptoms of vertigo, nausea and headaches and went to have it checked out. It is 3 cm and consistent with the findings of breast cancer that was diagnosed in 2008. I can't get her off of my mind today.  Pray for her and her family. 

Life is precious and can change in a day or with one doctor visit.  I seem to always be reminded of that lately...live everyday as it were your last!  A little reminder to help me  have the attitude I need to have going back to work. 

Please continue to pray for an end to cancer!

THE WHITE SUMMER

I have decided to name this summer....THE WHITE SUMMER...because there is no tan on this body whatsoever. I am a little fearful of tanning booths this summer with my surgery and it takes so much effort for me to tan outside.  I hope this isn't a sign I am getting old.  I have reverted to self-tanners...there is a secret to using those I am finding out....does anyone know the secret?  I don't have the skill yet....

Summer is moving right along...vacationing in Virginia worked out well...it was the first vacation that we brought along our own recliner since I was two weeks post-op.  The hotel staff was so accomodating and nice but I think the other guests in the lobby thought we were a little whacked when Wayne brought a recliner in from our van...one even commented..."WOW, they are bringing their own furniture..."  You just can't worry about what other people think.  After five months, I have been able to sleep in the bed for the past week without pain or uncomfortableness. ( YEA!) It was great to see Wayne's family again...we always enjoy our time with them.

My kids have been to CIY at Anderson University for a week and I love to see how pumped up they are when they come back...that makes it worth the money :)  Like last year, they have missions to accomplish--my daughter is to sell $500 of her possessions and give it to a mission of her choice...my son is to lead a family Bible study.  He feels that God wants him to have it with his dad...WOW!  God is able and He is able to surprise us...that is all I can say! ( a quote from Priscilla Shirer) God can do great things when you go out of your comfort zone...I continue to pray for courage for both of my kids to be so close to God that they are sensitive to where He can use them best!

My daughter leaves to go to University of Louisville to begin her Ky Ambassador Choir Tour to Europe today.  She goes to rehearsal camp until Wednesday and then flies out that night to London to begin her tour of seven countries.  This has been two years in the making and I can't believe it is here.  She has been saving for it with her job at Chick-Fil-A.  I am excited for her to be able to do this.  She will not be back until July 15th.  ( I will miss her as much as I am excited for her! ) Life has been a little crazy around here getting her ready for that...

I went for another follow-up appointment yesterday and all is going well!  I am able to lift and resume all activity with no restrictions.  He encouraged lifting weights again because it is better when my pectoralis muscle is stronger.  It decreases scar tissue from building up over time and that is what can rupture an implant.  My next appointment is in August to discuss the next step in my reconstruction...I have been working two days per week in a nursing home being a PT where I am lifting a little more than I have in ten years.  That has been an adjustment but I love working with the elderly again...it is like seeing the long-term result of decisions that people make right before your eyes and it makes you realize the small decisions that are made everyday--good and bad--can put you on a different path and you choose the path you are on! Some of these people are so beautiful on the inside it makes them beautiful on the outside-you know they have lived life intentionally and with a focus on the positive around them....Life is a series of choices that people make in all areas of their life!   Something for me to remember...

Thank you for your continued prayers for my recovery...I feel recovered for the most part but the process is not over yet...I am getting to a point where I don't think about it everyday and that is right where I want to be....

NO DOCTOR APPOINTMENTS FOR THREE WEEKS...WOW!

I am just now blogging about my doctor visit on Thursday.  I have been busy wrapping things up at school with it being the last week of school.  WHEW!  I have all the important things done...it is amazing how much more I like my job in the summer....LOL

On Thursday, I got all my stitches out and it is a good thing to be numb because it didn't hurt at all.  The nurse said everything looks really good and  I am healing well.  I feel like the implants are heavier than the tissue expanders and start right below my shoulder but she said that is swelling that will take 3-6 weeks to go down.  I can start to sleep in the bed...which I tried and  lasted until 4:00AM and then had to get up and go to the recliner...I hope that starts to get better soon. I can lift up to 15# now.  I can't do anything that really increases my heart rate or causes me to sweat alot as far as exercise goes because that will just add to the swelling.  I can leisurely walk...that is all for right now.  I guess I have a good excuse to not exercise...I don't have to look for one or make one up...HA! 

I don't have to go back for three weeks...that is the longest I have gone without a doctor's appt since January...I do believe.  YEA!  Wayne and I  are going to visit his family this week in Newport News, Virginia...looking forward to it!  SUMMER HAS BEGUN!  

One of my closest friend's mother has just been diagnosed with breast cancer this past month.  She went through surgery this week and it was in her lymph nodes.  She finds out Tuesday what her choices in treatment will be.  Please pray for  their family and for complete healing and strength during this time...She has a long journey ahead of her... My close friend that lives far away has been right there for me the whole time...calling and texting at times when I was going through the scary moments...

Continue to pray for an end to cancer!  It makes my heart so heavy when I hear of someone else it has affected...I  am always asking WHY?

P.S.  The doves have left the nest and Wayne took the nest down before another bird decided to move in...we are all able to use the front door now. It is the small things that make my family happy! 

ANOTHER NEST...HIDDEN IN THE FERN and LESSONS GIVEN IN FLYING...

Yesterday Wayne took our fern down off the front porch to water it and guess what we found?  Another bird nest...look how perfectly round it is...Isn't that amazing?  I don't think we are going to tell Laura Beth about this one as she has not been able to come within a 50 foot radius of our porch because of her irrational fear of birds...I have been watching the nest and no "Momma Bird" has come back to it...not sure why it has been abandoned...it was built within feet of our other bird nest...I guess our birthing house for birds isn't closed just yet....

Momma Dove venturing away from her Baby and showing it how to leave the nest...

But always coming back when it isn't ready...as my dad would say "There is a sermon in there somewhere!" 

ANOTHER DOVE IS BORN TO US....

We now have dove #2 born on our front door in the flower arrangement.  I was trying to be sneaky from inside the house and get a picture of it without the "momma dove" flying out at me...it really is so precious how the baby sits right beside its "momma".  I think our birthing house will be closed after this "fruitful" season...

FRIDAY...DAY 4

I went to the doctor yesterday and he took all the bandages off--OUCH!  He told me that I could shower now, drive if I am not on pain medication but I can't lift anything over 10#.  The swelling will be there for 3-6 weeks.  My pain level has greatly decreased and I am only taking Extra Strength Tylenol during the day.  I am down to 1/2 Percocet at night to sleep.(That drug is always the hardest to give up--haha!)  I have sharp pains that last about 1/2 second but they told me that was normal because the nerves are trying to regenerate.  I have little pinpricks on my shoulders and on my stomach and I asked the nurse about them---she said it was where they "stapled" the sterile towels to me so when they sit me up in surgery nothing moves and becomes unsterile...That is weird to think about them stapling things to me when I am under anesthesia like I am a bulletin board...I wonder what else they do to me?  The nurse told me that my doctor is a "sterile freak" and is super careful about infection when doing surgery. I can't think about that too long...it kinda freaks me out! I go next Thursday to get my stitches out--maybe I will go back to the painkillers for that day only--we will see!  I will ask them to check to see if they left any staples in me...there are some things I think I am better off not knowing...

Thank you for all my care and support that I have received this week...I couldn't go through this without the support of my friends and family. 

WEDNESDAY---DAY 2

OK...hopefully this entry won't be as groggy as the last one---I surprised my words weren't slurring on paper...Monday, I was falling asleep in the  middle of conversations...that is something my husband does without medication...LOL  He is going to ask the doctor why he gets sleepy when I take the medication...that is a medical mystery!

I am doing fairly well--up and moving around---trying to take less pain medication as time goes on...I have to stay in my bandages until my follow-up appt on Thursday.  I am pretty swollen but I  am hoping that will go down in time.  I am sleeping well in my recliner thanks to Percocet...love that drug! I feel alot of tightness but not alot of pain. The doctor told my parents that I was the  "poster child" for this kind of surgery.   My dad asked him if I could get paid---he just laughed.  Let's just say there will  be no posters allowed!

I have free tickets tonight to see Helen Hunt at the Aronoff through the Susan Komen Foundation. We have been invited to a private reception to meet her also.  I am hoping to go but we will see how I feel.  I always loved her on  the tv show  "Mad About You." 

This  is the kids' last week of school  before finals so it is crunch time to get all these assignments in---we will all  be glad when school is out!  Thank you to my friends and family that  have helped us out during this time. Continue to pray for an end to all cancer...

OUT OF SURGERY and HOME NOW...

This will be quick because I am feeling a little groggy...Surgery was at 3:30 this afternoon...about an  hour late...my head was  pounding from lack of caffeine  and/or food/drink...that part was a little brutal...I was just trying hard to stay nice to people...if you know what I mean.  It took a little over an hour...I am at home and feeling groggy...haven't gotten off of the couch...Maddie, my little dog, is right beside me....I almost had to  set the laptop on top of her...just woke up from a 2 hour anesthetic nap...really, it is amazing how good that kind of sleep is...

Wayne is off all week and  being a great nurse...thanks so much  for your prayers...they mean so much!  I keep falling asleep trying to write this compliments of some good drugs...so I  guess I will go now...write  more  later! 

ANOTHER UPDATE...

It has been a long time since I have blogged...there hasn't been much to say except life is moving along at a fast pace with the end of school approaching.  It is a very busy time with my work and the kids' activities.  Everyday day goes by quickly and trying to keep a balance is my biggest challenge.  I haven't spent much time on the computer these days...which is a good thing!  It has allowed more time for other things...

On May 6th, I went for another expansion to prepare me for the upcoming surgery and the doctor told me that he really didn't "feel" the need for another one (by "feel" I mean in the true meaning of the word-OUCH!)...I was glad because I truly didn't see how it could happen...I didn't think my "Pet Rocks" could stretch anymore!  The doctor is very pleased with my progress and said that I have done better than about 98% of his patients that go through this process.  That is an answer to prayer!  I am feeling back to normal these days and exercising without restrictions...that is a good thing!

Surgery to remove the expanders and put in the gel implants has been scheduled for May 24th.  I will be out of work for about five days...it takes about an hour and it is done in an outpatient surgery center.  The doctor says that it should not be a big deal compared to what I have already been through...so I am trying to keep my anxiety level low about it.  I should be able to sleep in a normal bed after this surgery instead of a recliner.  The expanders do not move at all so I can't roll on my side or lay on my stomach without waking up feeling uncomfortable because of the pressure.  This will be the second part of my reconstruction...the next part comes in about six months.

On another note, the doves have moved out and two days later another "momma" dove moved in and layed an egg in the same nest....I guess we are running a birthing house for doves these days...It is sweet to know they feel comfortable there but not so sweet to not be able to use the front door at all for about two months...I think we are getting used to it, though. 

Thanks for all your continued prayers and support...I can't tell you how much they mean to me and my family.  Keep in prayer for healing from this second surgery and just for an end to cancer!  Since I have been diagnosed with cancer, it is a prayer I pray everyday!  It saddens me when I hear of another person diagnosed or struggling to overcome it--my heart goes out to them! 

BABY DOVE...NEW LIFE

We finally got to have a peek at baby dove...(I don't think the other egg is going to hatch :(  )  We have temperatures in the 30's at night and momma dove has been staying on the nest at all times...no matter what!  It is warmer now and the baby is bigger so I think she is a little more comfortable getting off of the nest.  We are not sure when it hatched but the baby is so BIG!  I don't know how two baby doves could fit in the nest...

It has been so sweet to watch this and such a reminder from God of new life and new beginnings...thank God for second chances!

ANOTHER TISSUE EXPANSION...ALMOST THERE

Yesterday I had another tissue expansion...I am so glad that I am almost done with these "fill-ups"!  The doctor said the next one will be a small expansion to overexpand me for surgery.  I am really feeling like Growing Up Skipper these days....LOL.  My next appt is for May 6  and then surgery will be scheduled...hopefully, the last part of May.  It should only be a week recovery-YEA!  I will be relieved to get rid of my "pet rocks" and feel like a normal person! 

Our "dove family" on our front porch is still there and the momma is always on the nest these days...we accidentally opened the front door and she just sat there...looking at us...like " Will you shut the door please...I really don't want to have to fly off of this nest!"  We have found that the "dad" comes and relieves the "mom" sometimes--I never knew that doves did that! 

Our family is all together now...Jonathan got back safely from Haiti and had a wonderful experience...Laura Beth spent her spring break staying with "Mimi and Poppie" and working at Chick Fil A. Wayne and I are back from Missouri being "Pappy and Jenny".  That was so much fun!  Life is pretty much back to normal and I am OK with that :)

Look at the momma-dove....sitting on her nest on our front door....I think she is having twins!

EASTER...CELEBRATION OF NEW LIFE!

We have a bird that has decided to build a nest in the flower arrangement on our front door...Isn't that crazy? I want to leave it there because I don't have the heart to move it or destroy it...I think it is my personal reminder that there is new life in this house...An egg just appeared last night....

This Easter weekend I find myself thinking about everything that has happened in the last year...all the changes in our family in many different areas and how life is a just a little bit different now.  Not like I am a totally different person but there has been so much to remind me that life is to be celebrated and there are important things that do not need to be ignored...I do not know what tomorrow brings!  It can change in an instant...I am so thankful that God's love for me is a constant in this life...He never changes and I am  His passion.  He wants to be in a relationship with me more than anything...so much that He was willing to send His Son to die for me to break down the barriers of sin so that I can be closer to Him.  I can't wrap my head around that because as much as I love certain people...Would I be willing to send one of my kids to die for them?  Never in a million years.  Easter is all about celebrating the new life that is available to me because of Jesus' death and resurrection...one that is more abundant and full of joy even when circumstances around me are not joyful!  I love how God has created  reminders all around us of new life when it is Easter...flowers blooming and growing, grass is getting greener and birds are building nests to start new life...
 
On a different note, I have had another tissue expansion this past Thursday and it went well--this one was the least painful of all of them.  I am pretty much healed so there was less inflammation.  I have about 1-2 more the doctor said but that is totally up to me at this point...and we can stop where I feel comfortable--not where Wayne feels comfortable...where I feel comfortable!  HAHA  My next one is April 20th.  He said I was a "boring patient".  Sorry---what can I say...God answers prayer and I like being a "boring patient".

We had our "Last Supper" on Tuesday--I told everyone we needed to sit on one side of the table so we could take a picture...since it was our Last Supper. How appropriate with Easter Week... It took the kids awhile but I think they got it!  (you know...mom's sense of humor is so lame!) I am out of practice in the cooking area, that is for sure....our family has been so spoiled with the meals every other day...I am going to make some things for Easter so maybe that will help me get in the groove again...

Life is back on...in full force, that is for sure...working everyday trying to get caught up, doing taxes, getting my son ready for his mission trip to Haiti this next Wednesday, prom-shopping with my daughter, getting ready for Easter and all the other little things of normal life...I feel like my brain can only hold so much...I keep forgetting things...I will be ready to relax on Spring Break in Missouri week after next spending time with our grandchildren, Elly and Emilia...(Oh yeah, Chris and Tawnya too!)  Being a grandma "Jenny" is a nice little break from being a mom of teenagers...I get a little more love, if you know what I mean...Wayne assures me there is love there but they don't show it for about 10 years...I think I am about halfway there!

Happy Easter and I hope you find a way to celebrate new life with those around you...Because He lives we can face tomorrow no matter what happens! That is what Easter is all about for me this year :)  Thanks for allowing me to have this little "moment" with you!

DAY 32-POST-OP...GETTING BACK IN THE GROOVE

Well, my first week back at work was physically fine but mentally overwhelming.  I have so much to get caught up on...I could work all weekend and not be caught up...where do I start?  I  guess I will just take it one step at a time...I worked every other day this week and will be full-time next week.

The good thing is that I am no longer taking anything for pain...not even Advil. I have had no increase in pain driving alot, carrying my purse or getting my work stuff out of my car....YEA!  I am still sleeping in the recliner because I wake up uncomfortable---I try every couple nights but it just doesn't work. 

Not much else to tell...life is going on as normal....it has its stressful moments but so glad I am able to participate in it fully!  We had a small dose of winter this morning with light dusting of snow...I hope that is the last of  the snow for this winter....

Thank you for your thoughtful messages and  prayers for this week :)  It is all good!  The meals have helped out so much this week...My family thanks you from the bottom of their stomachs!!

DAY 24 POST-OP...MORE GOOD NEWS!

Well, Spring has sprung this week with temperatures in the 60's most everyday.  It makes everyone feel alive, don't you think?  I went to the plastic surgeon yesterday and got expanded again with 60 cc--so we are at 390 cc right now.  I am a little more uncomfortable for about a day afterwards. He told me that I have had a "very non-eventful post-op course" and "I am out of the woods".  He told me that things are moving along very well.  My next expansion will be April 1st.  He thinks my third surgery will be able to be moved up to the first part of May. (It was going to be in June.)  He removed all restrictions...I can exercise aerobically and lift weights...I can lift anything within reason.  I told him I was returning back to being a physical therapist and he said..."There will be no problem." WOW!  I was kinda' hoping he thought I would need to stay off work another week. (haha!)  I am only taking advil two times a day now...haven't been on the strong stuff since last Tuesday.  I am trying to sleep in the bed but sometimes I have to get up and lay in the recliner because I can't get comfortable not being able to sleep in my normal position which is on my side.  I am looking forward to getting back into HOT YOGA :)  I started getting into that at the beginning of the year and I love it...(It is yoga in a 90 degree room so you can really get a workout plus deep stretching and relaxation)

People are still bringing meals every other day...It is really unbelievable!  Yesterday, when we got home late from the doctor there was a meal waiting for us all ready to eat--I can't tell you how nice that was!  We are still overwhelmed by people's support and love--We will never forget it!

Life is going on as normal in the Carpenter-Clause house---back to being a taxi-driver for my teenagers, homework battles, early morning grumpiness--but there is so much to be thankful for and I remind myself of that everyday! 

Thank you for your continued prayers for our family as we are entering the last part of this journey!

ANOTHER DAY AT THE PLASTIC SURGEON...

Well, it is a new week and the theme for the week is that LIFE GOES ON in a big way.  Wayne went back to work Monday and I have a sick child with a stomach bug.   I have been at the high school everyday for one thing or another regarding my other child and running a few errands here and there. I woke up Monday really feeling uncomfortable and I called the office to see if everything was OK because I was worried that I was swelling too much with the drains out.  Polly, the nurse at the plastic surgeon's office, reassured me that it was OK if I wasn't running a temperature or feeling poorly.  They would check everything out on Tuesday morning when I went there for my first tissue expansion.  I had to take a VICODIN and I haven't had to do that since last Wednesday.  A big thank you to my mom for helping me as I couldn't really even drive on Monday due to the tightness.  I still am unable to push, pull, lift or carry any weight at all. 

Wayne was off on Tuesday and we went to the plastic surgeon's office for my first tissue expansion.  I am so glad I woke up feeling alot better.  It is such a beautiful day today...being in the 60's...that always helps everyone feel better.  I always play a game with myself in the waiting room just wondering what the people sitting in the waiting room are having done...especially if it isn't obvious.  It helps to pass the time away.  The doctor told me he put 270 cc in during surgery and they were going to put in 60 more cc today.  I kinda' feel like the barbie--Growing Up Skipper.  Do you remember what happens when her arm goes around?  It didn't even hurt because my skin is numb and they did both sides at the same time so that was easy.  They said they wanted to get to 500-550 cc! So far, I have 330 cc so I am more than halfway there.  YEA! They said the extra fluid would probably take care of itself with the expansion but they would check it next time--it didn't need aspirating at this time. They said that somedays are worse than others...maybe when you do too much the day before?  Well, Sunday was a big day--installation service of Greg Markesberry with my dad's last Sunday being the senior minister.  We also ate out on Sunday...I was tired when we got home and I did rest but I guess it was more than I thought physically and emotionally.

Well...my next appointment is next Thursday for my next tissue expansion.  I am a little more uncomfortable but it isn't bad. They want me to try to only use advil for pain relief now because it is an anti-inflammatory. I will try to go to sleep tonight without Percocet...we will see what happens!  Maybe 1/2 of one??  Ha

I did hear some very good news today...my friend, Jackie, comes home from the hospital tomorrow.  She has been there for about three weeks for her third stem cell transplant and chemotherapy.  She has had a bacterial infection and her throat has been killing her so bad she has needed morphine for the past several days...It will be so good to see her--her counts are way up and she is getting out earlier than expected!  GOD ANSWERS PRAYER! 

We can't thank people enough for all the support you are giving us...the cards, emails, flowers, visits, and gentle "side hugs"!  It is overwhelming to Wayne and I and my kids like everyone else's cooking better than mine...they will have a hard time adjusting back to mom's cooking! 

DAY 10 POST-OP--A BIG DAY

Today was a busy day!  We went to two doctor appointments today--one for each surgeon.  The oncological surgeon said everything looks great, took the drains out and said I didn't have to come back for another year. :)   I just had to take a picture with my nurse navigator and my oncological surgeon...I couldn't resist..this was a big day and they were as excited as I was!  The plastic surgeon's nurse said I am doing better than about 95% of the patients that go through this surgery.  I told her it is because of lots of prayers and positive people helping me along the way.  They took all the sutures out and I am scheduled for my first tissue expansion on Tuesday at 11:00.  She estimated that the tissue expansion process will probably last till about the end of May.  I am going to continue to decrease the pain meds as I am allowed to take ibuprofen now instead of Tylenol.  The pain has greatly decreased over the last two days.  My range of motion in my arms has been alot better also.  I got all my questions answered--I am allowed to drive and take a shower...thank God!  I am still not able to lift or exercise at all as it might cause swelling. They did say that Wayne still needs to bring my coffee and breakfast to me in the morning and they weren't sure when that should stop! (wink, wink) I really think this surgery was alot easier than having my babies and much quicker recovery time.

Thank you for your continued prayers and love you have shown our family during this time!  I continue to improve day by day without complications which is an answer to prayer.  Pray that continues through the next process...

A WEEK CANCER-FREE :)

Well, I am a week post-op and doing fairly well.  The goal for the week is to slowly decrease pain meds down to Tylenol.  I still have alot of energy and have to make myself rest.  I have some uncomfortable moments but all in all, it is fairly tolerable. I feel alot of tightness with sharp pains every now and then...sounds fun, doesn't it?  The evenings are the worst for some reason.  Wayne and I are going to venture out of the house today and go  to Central  House Diner, a new restaurant  in Burlington.  I haven't been out of the house since Thursday--I am starting to go a little stir-crazy!  Wayne is off  for another week and that is a good thing!  He has been incredible doing things I don't think he would have been able to handle but doing them with patience and love.  I will never forget it...

We can't express enough how much we appreciate your continued prayers and acts of kindness--it is overwhelming to us...

Check out my new inspiring link...love this song!

DAY 3 POST-OP--OH HAPPY DAY :)

What an emotional day this has been...Wayne and I went to my followup appointment with the plastic surgeon's nurse at 1:15.  The pain pump was taken out and the dressings were taken off and new padding was put in my huge sports bra (that is so attractive I might add!)  We saw everything and it was all good with no signs of infection or swelling.  I was so happy because my right shoulder tends to hurt more and I was worried something might be wrong.  She said it was because the placement of my drain was more anterior than the left.  It's also the side that I had the lymph node biopsy on last Wednesday and I am right handed. I guess there are alot of reasons. Nothing to worry about!  I don't have to wear my anti-embolism stockings anymore...YEA!   We left there and I went to see my nurse navigator, Terri, at the Women's Breast Center at St Elizabeth Medical Center and show her I made it through Monday.  She was not working the day of my surgery.  She has helped me from the first minute I was given my diagnosis--when I was like a "deer caught in the headlights".  She made appointments for me immediately and made herself available to me via email or phonecall throughout the last four months. She emailed me the day after surgery and always greets me with a big smile and a warm hug--I have always felt so comforted by her presence.  She was asking me if I was happy with everything and I was telling her about my doctor visit.  Dr Guenther, my oncological surgeon, came out with my clean pathology report and gave it to me and said "You're clean as a whistle---just what we thought...I want you to have this".  He gave me a big "SIDE HUG" (the only kind of hug I can do these days).   The last time I saw him was in the operating room and I felt like I was putting my life in his hands.  It was an emotional moment for me...and I am getting tearful as I am writing this! Four months of anticipation of getting through the surgery, the recovery and thinking things might not be as they thought!  It was what I have laid in bed at night thinking about when I couldn't distract myself like I could during the day.  THIS IS A HAPPY DAY!  Poor Wayne...we went out to eat at Panera afterwards and I just kept blubbering up!  He said this is how he felt after surgery when the doctors talked to him, my parents and my sister...I guess I wasn't there to hear it and seeing it in black and white holding it in my hands...there just isn't anything like it!  PRAISE GOD FROM WHOM ALL BLESSINGS FLOW THAT THERE WERE NO SURPRISES...I feel so much better than I thought I would after surgery...I seriously have to make myself lay down and rest...I have been sleeping well at night and the pain meds have been working...speaking of, it is time for more...so I must go!  Next Thursday is the appointment to get my drains out and also a followup with Dr Guenther, my oncological surgeon.  I just love that man but I wouldn't want his job for any amount of money in the world!  Every woman I have come in contact with that have had this surgery have told me that the anticipation of the surgery is much worse than the surgery itself and I would have to agree! THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR PRAYERS...

PLEASE PRAY FOR MY FRIEND, JACKIE!

I want to ask you to please pray for my friend, Jackie. She was admitted for her third stem cell transplant on Tuesday.   She has multiple myeloma and she will stay in the hospital for three weeks.  She is not receiving visitors for two weeks due to being hit hard with chemotherapy.  We met by living across the street from each other in our old neighborhood.  I ran the FLYING PIG MARATHON raising money in her honor for blood cancers with TEAM IN TRAINING in 2008.  Her son, Ben, is running the PIG this year in her honor. She is such a fighter and her spirit has always inspired me! She knows what she needs to do and she just does it.  She kept telling me the day before surgery--"Jennifer, just don't overthink it!"  Little did I know when we were moving into our houses the same time about twenty years ago, we would be fighting cancer together.  She really needs our prayers during this time-- GOD GIVE HER THE PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL STRENGTH SHE NEEDS TO GET THROUGH THIS AND LET HER CANCER COUNTS GO DOWN TO ZERO.  WE KNOW YOU ARE ABLE TO DO INFINITELY MORE THAN WE DARE TO ASK OR HOPE FOR!

SURGERY IS OVER AND I AM CANCER-FREE

Surgery is over and lasted 3 hours and 45 minutes--I am in my room and doing good--Thank you so much for your prayers I could feel them! I was calm and ready once I got to the hospital-I didn't take Valuim before hand :). I am laying here listening to my IPOD on my first dose of morphine to help me rest.  I am  the one watching Wayne sleep at 2:30 in the morning.  I guess I had the five hour nap today!  HaHa
One thought that helped me get  through the day is that many people would love to switch places with me knowing  that they would go to bed that night cancer-free with a four hour surgery.  The day has arrived that I  have been waiting four months for!  THIS IS THE DAY THAT THE LORD HAS MADE, LET US REJOICE AND BE GLAD IN IT!!!

ALL CLEAR!!

I got the results today from the lymph node biopsy and it was all clear--no signs of cancer were found!  I am so relieved that there are no surprises--thank you God for that answer to prayer!  I won't need to go through radiation or chemotherapy. 

DIGGING OUT FROM THE SNOW IN A UNIQUE WAY...

Kids are back to school today for the first time this week!  Thanks to the bulldozers that came down our street.  It was the first time I have ever seen bulldozers getting rid of snow. 

I am still doing great from the lymph node biopsy yesterday.  I am only taking Tylenol and using ice packs.  I am not allowed to drive but I really don't feel any pain when moving my arm.  Again, thank you for your prayers.  

LYMPH NODE BIOPSY...DONE

All done and home finally!  I got my lymph node biopsy about 1:00 today.  We will get the results on Friday but the doctor said "It doesn't look scary and he is 95% sure it will be clear!"  So we are focusing on that unless we hear differently on Friday.  I have an ice-pack in my armpit and feeling pretty good...I didn't take the Valium before surgery to help me relax because I didn't want to be more out of it than I had to be. I had to get benadryl/hydrocortisone in my IV because I am allergic to sulfa and that helped me relax a bit!  I  couldn't wait to put makeup on my face, lotion on my hands, contacs in my eyes and food in my mouth so I would feel like a real person...pretzels never tasted so good! I like to think of today as a practice run for Monday--I will be going to the same place, talking with the same people and thinking "I have been here before."  Hopefully that will add a sense of calmness and ease to the day!  I was so relieved it was over when I woke up :) :)  Thank you so much for your prayers.  I knew they were there because I could feel them!

PREADMISSION TESTING...DONE!

This is a picture of the path we have to shovel for our dachshund, "Maddie" so she can go outside.  Wayne wants to try putting her in the snow where it covers her completely and see what she does. I won't let him...We have had 22 inches of snow in the last 10 days!  I know other people have had even more than that!  I ventured out with Wayne following me part of the way in about 15 inches of snow today to get to the hospital to make sure that all papers were signed and to give them my paperwork. Surprisingly enough, the main roads were pretty clear...they must have been working on them all night. Guess what?  There was no wait  :)

GETTING THROUGH ALL THE APPOINTMENTS...EXPERIENCING BLESSINGS ALONG THE WAY

Well, this past week was filled with going to appointments, working, telling alot of people at work about my surgery and my time off, snow days (a true gift from God!), rescheduling appts and kids activities, getting kids where they need to be or arranging for someone else to do it because I wasn't able to...
I have gotten OK'd for my lymph node biopsy and a double mastectomy with reconstruction from my family doctor.  Wayne and I went to a pre-op appointment with the plastic surgeon, viewed all the "wonderful" photographs that were taken of me on the last visit (I know why I don't go topless on a beach!) ...all the prescriptions that I am going to need after surgery are filled and all my permission slips are signed.  I have Percocet, antibiotic and a muscle relaxer...I should be all set, don't you think?? My past experience with Percocet wasn't all that great...it tends to make me mean...and MAY have contributed to the demise of my first marriage...the jury is still out on that one! HA  Just pray for Wayne...he is taking off two weeks of work to help me out after surgery...he may be asking to go back after one week off....it may be more than what he signed up for.  He has been so supportive and helpful without me asking for anything...he has been there for everything...I couldn't ask for anything more!

Seriously, I have been experiencing so many blessings along this journey...I know God is putting people and things in my life because He knows just what I need...I like to have alot of information when I am going through something...I question alot of things ( probably too much!)...I believe God knows me more than I know myself...He is the one who created me...

I am going to keep adding to my list of blessings as I am going through this...hoping that it keeps me on the positive path!  These are in no specific order...just as they came to my mind...( don't feel like you have to read any of this...it is just me regurgitating my thoughts ....I won't be offended in the least!)

1. Support from Laura Beth's place of employment---Chick Fil A--they are providing a meal for us the day after surgery....I don't really know them...such an unexpected surprise!
2. Calmness and peace I have about my decision...calm and peaceful are not words that I would use to describe myself even though I try to be...so I know this is a result of so many prayers!
3. My LOVELY LADIES online support group....I was asked to be in a group of 6 ladies online from all over the US that are going through breast cancer at all different stages...It has been so helpful with all the "details" of recovery.  It all started with meeting Traci Clancy in a waiting room about 10 years ago with our sons taking OT in Blue Ash and running into her again in the plastic surgeon's waiting room. When we are all done with everything, we are all going to meet for a weekend.  That is our hope! 
4. My friend Kari...setting up meals for our family after surgery with an online calendar....so sweet of her...
5. Never-ending support of my parents...in caring for us....being there to be extra hands with my kids and being supportive of my decisions regarding surgery
6. Love and support of Wayne...thankful that the Post Office has let him off for every MD appointment without giving him a hard time and his willingness to be off two weeks after surgery...as I mentioned before...that is yet to be determined...HA
7. All the women that God has brought my way to talk me through this and encourage me....Shannon, Traci, Gina, Tracy, Pam and Mary...they have all been there before--they are all healed and going on with their lives living in a more abundant way....some of these people I didn't even know before.
8. My work...not having to worry about not getting paid for my time off...and knowing I can have more if I need it....so thankful my work is flexible!  My girlfriends at work have a way of keeping things real for me...making me laugh at the unlaughable...they have seen me at my lowest point and loved me through it!
9. Glad I am able to go to some of the top doctors in the area...I was in the waiting room this week and the office staff came out and told a lady that they didn't accept her insurance and she would have to go somewhere else....she was so upset....didn't really think about this blessing until that moment!  I am going to tell them before they put me to sleep  "Show me some of your best work!"
10. THANKFUL EVERY DAY that I am dealing with non-invasive cancer...hopefully the lymph node biopsy will confirm that this week...
11. All the cards,emails and flowers that people have sent me....but most of all the prayers I feel as I am going through this...I feel so humbled...
12. My friend Jackie--she is an inspiration to me.  Going through her 3rd stem-cell transplant at the same time I am going through this...what I am going through is nothing compared to what she has and is continuing to go through...I want her fighting spirit!
13. My Bible Study...Experiencing God....He knows just what I need...my relationship with God has been strengthened..I have come to know Him more intimately through this experience.

It is difficult when you grow up in a family where you minister to others all the time to put yourself in a place where you are ministered to....it doesn't feel comfortable...I feel like I am so much better on the other side...

I am going to end with verses that have encouraged me this week...I found them through my Bible Study Experiencing God...I hope they encourage you too!

Ps 73:26--My health my fail, my spirit grow weak but God remains my strength forever.

Eph 3:20---Now glory be to God, by His mighty power at work within us-He is able to accomplish infinitely more than we would ever dare to ask or hope for

Check out my new addition....Inspiring Links!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!
 Love on the ones you love :)

BE A MISSIONARY AT HOME!

We have been working with a ministry every Monday night that helps local people that are in need--LIFELINE MINISTRIES.  Over the past year the number has increased tremendously and the funding has decreased because of the economy...They are feeding anywhere between 80-100 families per week.  I encourage you to click on the title of my post and find out what they are all about.  It is amazing that these people are right at our back door. There are so many ways to be a missionary at home--keeping our eyes and our hearts open when our lives are busy and we have schedules to meet is half of the battle. I truly believe busyness is one of Satan's biggest tactics to make you unaware of the need for Jesus in people around you...and it usually works, doesn't it??

ALL THESE APPOINTMENTS....IT IS A PART-TIME JOB!

I think I finally have everything scheduled...you would not believe how many appointments I have to go to prior to surgery!  A physical from my family doctor...a pre-op appointment with the plastic surgeon...pre-admission testing at the hospital...lymph node biopsy...AAAH!  It is a part time job just getting these arranged!  Things are going well...I feel like God has put people in my path the last couple weeks that have been such an encouragement to me...I love this saying by Marilyn Meberg..."I love the fact that God is a God who encourages relationships not just with Himself, but with each other.  I am thoroughly convinced that God loves us, encourages us, nurtures us and supports us through other human beings."  I am finding that to be so true!

MY SURGERY DATE...FINALLY!

My surgery date just got finalized today. I will be having a bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction on February 22nd in the afternoon. I will be called later to confirm the actual time. I was given a date in late March on Friday afternoon and both Wayne and I were a little disappointed that it wasn't sooner. The doctor has reassured me that with my diagnosis it would be OK to wait that long...but for my peace of mind they would try to do it earlier. The plastic surgeon's schedule is super busy since it is winter and that is when everyone wants their plastic surgery done...I asked about using a different plastic surgeon but the nurse assured me that he is the top plastic surgeon in Northern Ky. He is a perfectionist and would be worth the wait ...so I just began to pray for an earlier date to open up and asked the nurse to please call me back if that happened...

They called me back with an earlier date this morning...Thank God for answer to prayer! Why do I always seem surprised when that happens?

HOW TO HELP IN HAITI

This is a mission our church supports in HAITI. Please click on the title of the post to help out and see what life is like in Haiti right now. My heart breaks to hear the stories of the estimated 380,000 orphans as a result of the earthquake...the children hurt beyond repair...families torn apart... This is one of the ways to help here at home as well as pray!

About Me

Hi--My name is Jennifer Clause and it has been a process just deciding to create this blog. I am 43 years old and I was diagnosed with High grade DCIS (ductal carcinoma in situ) in my right breast on November 6, 2009. This was found after a routine mammogram on October 30, 2009. I was called back for another mammogram to magnify the area on November 3rd and then returned the next day for a CORE NEEDLE BIOPSY on the 4th. I have had a MRI after the diagnosis just to make sure they didn't miss anything. It was all clear--thank God. The past two months have been a process of getting 2nd opinions, going to the plastic surgeon and praying for wisdom and guidance in making some decisions that will affect the rest of my life. Our holidays were filled with love and a real focus on HOPE for me. I really felt the reason behind the HOPE is Jesus and the fact that He did humble himself and come to earth as a baby just so we could have eternal life and life here on earth is just a small part of our journey--I have always known that but I really felt it this Christmas with my aunt going to be with the Lord, my dad's last Christmas season being pastor of our church and my diagnosis. I have felt so humbled by everyone's love, prayers and support during this time. I have had a hard time responding to it all and that has prompted me to write this blog. The cards, flowers and phone calls--I almost feel as though I should be sicker than I am. I feel great! I continue to exercise and work and do all the things I am used to doing....It is hard to believe there is cancer inside my body. I have no lumps--the doctor calls it STAGE 0 cancer and there will be no chemotherapy needed since it is non-invasive. Another big positive! The doctor has given me options on how I would like to treat it. He says "I am the driver and he is the car!" HAHA He recommends a lumpectomy with radiation and tamoxifen for 5 years. There is a recurrence rate of 5% with this option. I asked about a bilateral masectomy with reconstruction...and he said that was another option but he really wanted me to research it and do whatever I need to do to make my decision...."pray on it, drink on it or talk to other people". There is no recurrence rate with this option. The cancer cannot return! That is the end result that I want! It has taken me two months to come to a point where I am ready to make this decision. I am going ahead with a bilateral masectomy with breast reconstruction using tissue expanders. The date is not certain yet as the two surgeons have to coordinate their schedules. It is hard to describe the emotions I have felt to come to this decision and usually I don't have a problem defining how I feel! I am grateful that my cancer is one that is very slow growing and I have the privilege of having the time to make a decision. That is another positive! Despite all the negative, there are alot of positives! I am choosing to focus on that as I go forward in this journey. Thank you for taking the time to visit my blog-- I know at times people aren't comfortable bringing the topic of my cancer up to me but they really want to know what is going on and at times I am not comfortable bringing it up as I am doing the normal things of life-being a wife, mom, daughter, physical therapist and a friend. At times, it is a little bit of a phobia...just being afraid of people's reactions and not knowing how they are going to react and is it a good time?...again, I wouldn't even have the words to describe the mixed emotions I feel at times. Thank you for letting me share my heart with you! I posted my birthday picture that was taken on December 15th because my wish for the next year would be to not just "get through" this but come through this in a way that makes me a better person and allow God to use this however He wants to...don't think I am truly there yet but I am working on it!